What I am about to share with you below is an indecent proposal from a Sugar Daddy to a daughter of one of my customers. The mother shared this story with me at the end of one of the Mothers’ Day addresses I did in May.

Sugar Daddy driving slowly near the girl in his big posh car “ Hallo Baby, may I give you a lift?”

Girl “ No thanks, I love to walk”

Sugar Daddy “ I can buy you a nice car you know, you don’t have to walk”

Girl “ No thanks, I don’t want YOUR car. FYI, I love to walk as I told you”

Sugar Daddy “ Be my girl, I will take you on overseas holidays….”

Girl “ Thank you very much, I will travel overseas when I start working”

Sugar Daddy “ Surely there is something I can offer you?”

Girl “ NO but NO Thanks, my Love is NOT For Sale”

Finally the Sugar Daddy gives up and leaves her alone. He drives off in his fancy car.

We will call the young girl Sophy. Sophy is 19 years old and is a first year university student. She is a beautiful and innocent young girl. Like most first year students, she is struggling to adjust to varsity life and being away from home. Her mother is doing the best she can to help Sophy with the transition from high school to varsity.

I looked at Sophy’s mom and asked her “Are you worried Sophy will accept the proposal?”

Sophy’s mom responded to me “I don’t think she will. I am more worried that I know that I don’t give her enough pocket money. She sometimes runs out of money before the end of the month. I am trying to teach her the discipline of living within a certain budget. Now I worry if I shouldn’t increase her pocket money so I am 100% sure that she will never be tempted by this sugar daddy”

But you said the Sugar Daddy drove off? I pointed out to Sophy’s mom.

Sophy’s mom then told the whole story as related to her by her daughter.

There are girls at varsity who go out with older, married men. The girls don’t stay at res. The older men buy them nice cars e.g. BMWs, 4x4s, etc… They also rent out nice apartments for them, buy them nice, expensive clothes and give them lots of money. The older guys sometimes come to pick them up in their posh cars and they take them on overseas holidays, etc…

Sophy went on to explain to her mom that these sugar daddies give their girlfriends money so they can give to girls like Sophy. The sugar daddies want more girls or fresh girls. Their girlfriends are happy to help the sugar daddies get other girls for them.

I was sick to the core as I listened to all of this. I was thinking to myself, do these girls even demand that the sugar daddies wear a condom? What if these sugar daddies have HIV? What if they make the young girls pregnant?

The sugar daddies are causing harvoc in the lives of young girls and their families. In a society where money, fancy clothes, fancy cars, overseas holidays and other luxuries are put on a pedestal, it becomes very difficult for some of the girls to say no to such overtures. What is even more sad is that most of these sugar daddies have wives and daughters themselves. Not even that stops them from messing up another person’s child.

I wish I had a water tight solution for Sophy’s mom and other parents facing the same challenges. All I can say is we need to start living a life with meaning and purpose beyond making money and hopefully our children will build the resistance necessary to enable them to say no when they receive such indecent proposals. We must also speak to our kids about money and help them to develop a healthy relationship with money.

We must teach our children the difference between Needs and Wants.

I don’t have much skill to address such matters. I do believe that if we keep the lines of communication open with our children, we can help them talk to us about such things and hopefully they will listen to our guidance.

Read chapter 14 entitled Do You Know What Relationship You have with Money? Help your children develop a good relationship with money.

We would love to hear from you. If you have any words of wisdom for Sophy, her mom and other parents in a similar situation, please email us at info@thuthuka-sa.co.za